Have you ever noticed that when things are not going well for people they tend to write a lot to complain? Don't get me wrong, I completely understand the therapeutic value of writing--I am a writing teacher after all. However, we don't necessarily stop to write about the things that are good in our lives. I know that we cannot change things that happen to us. We cannot control fate, destiny, or ka if you like.
Enter the Serenity Prayer.
Though we cannot control some things in our lives (ie other people), we can control ourselves. We can control how we act and how we respond. We can either wallow in self-pity and denial or we can take stock in the good things and be positive about all the good in our lives. So, the purpose of this blog is to name some of the positive things in my life, the things I have to be thankful for.
So, here goes:
*I have an incredible family. They mean the world to me and I couldn't be more blessed to have them in my life.
*I have good friends. Sometimes people come in and out of our lives and each one of them fulfills a purpose. Some of them stay around a little longer than others, but I am blessed by the fact that I have lots of people who care about me and about my life.
*I have a job. While I realize that sometimes I complain about my job, I am very blessed to have one. I am sure that there are other people who would like to have mine. So, I am thankful that I have income.
*Stability. I am able to take care of myself and my needs. I am thankful for my abilities.
*Education. I value my education. It is something that wasn't always easy, but something that I am very glad to have. I learned more about myself, the world, history, etc. than I could ever really explain. I am also blessed to have had parents that volunteered to pay for my education.
*Knowledge. My quest in life has always been for knowledge. And, I think I now realize that the things in my life that change only further my knowledge and experiences of my life. Every day I grow as does my knowledge.
This is only the beginning of a list that could go on forever. But, like I said, I cannot change some things in my life, but I can change my attitude and pour myself into the place I am now. I am in this season of my life for a reason, and though it has been a rainy season, I have learned much from it. So, since I cannot change certain things, I can change me.
So, today . . . and hopefully tomorrow I am thinking positiveLy.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
Bullshit
Have you ever played the card game bullshit? You know, the one where you call someone else out on their crap. Let me first tell you that I am pretty good at calling other peopole out on their crap. I really have no problem doing it. However, I don't get called out on my crap very often. I wonder why that is. Sometimes I say things and I want to believe what I am saying, but then again that is just me attempting to be positive. So, is it that I am pretty convinving or is it that people are too afraid to call me out? For instance, today I talked to two of my friends that I haven't spoken to in a while, and when they asked how things are I answered in a very positive manner.
It was only half true.
I answered the way I did because I wanted to believe what I was saying, and part of me did--the other part did not.
This makes me wonder why we answer the way we do when asked how we are doing. Why do we do that? Do we really care when we ask people how they are or is it just a niciety? And, why do we answer the way we do? Are we afraid for people to know we aren't ok?
Do we really care, or is it all just bullshit?
It was only half true.
I answered the way I did because I wanted to believe what I was saying, and part of me did--the other part did not.
This makes me wonder why we answer the way we do when asked how we are doing. Why do we do that? Do we really care when we ask people how they are or is it just a niciety? And, why do we answer the way we do? Are we afraid for people to know we aren't ok?
Do we really care, or is it all just bullshit?
Friday, February 12, 2010
V-Day aka D-Day
Valentine's Day . . . two days and counting. Ok, so D-Day is June 6th, but the invsion of Normandy seems like a logical connnection to this Valentine's Day. D-Day stands for disambiguation day. Disambiguation=get rid of ambiguity; to make clear. Let me make something clear; I hate December, January, and February, and in two days my life can go back to the boring normal. Here on out there are no more holidays that make me consider killing myself (don't worry, this blog is not a cry for help!). I do not like Valentine's Day, and I will reiterate that it is not because I am jealous of the people who have someone. As a matter of fact, I would not want to be in some of the relationships of people I know!
However, I have been thinking about all of the things people will do for Valentine's Day, and I still can't help but to chuckle. In fact, there have been findings that deforrestation is linked to Valentine's Day. In some countries fields and forrests are torn down in an effort to grow flowers for V-Day. In addition to the deforrestation, there is the fuel that is used to send the flowers and also to refridgerate them. Do you see where I am going with this? Perhaps deforrestation is the new meaning of D-Day for V-Day. This just further goes to prove how silly this holiday can be and how quickly it can get out of control. I am a firm believer in showing other people love, but why do you have to have a day on a calendar to remind you to love someone?
FYI, YOU DON'T. If you really give a shit, show it the 360 days of the year you aren't forced to think of others. You will be amazed at the effect it can have. So, I sit in anticipation of D-Day . . . I mean V-Day and wait for the storm to quell.
I really wanted to rhyme something with that last line, but I decided against it :)
However, I have been thinking about all of the things people will do for Valentine's Day, and I still can't help but to chuckle. In fact, there have been findings that deforrestation is linked to Valentine's Day. In some countries fields and forrests are torn down in an effort to grow flowers for V-Day. In addition to the deforrestation, there is the fuel that is used to send the flowers and also to refridgerate them. Do you see where I am going with this? Perhaps deforrestation is the new meaning of D-Day for V-Day. This just further goes to prove how silly this holiday can be and how quickly it can get out of control. I am a firm believer in showing other people love, but why do you have to have a day on a calendar to remind you to love someone?
FYI, YOU DON'T. If you really give a shit, show it the 360 days of the year you aren't forced to think of others. You will be amazed at the effect it can have. So, I sit in anticipation of D-Day . . . I mean V-Day and wait for the storm to quell.
I really wanted to rhyme something with that last line, but I decided against it :)
Monday, February 8, 2010
L-O-V-E
I have been putting off writing about this L because well, I hate it. I hate this subject. Don't misunderstand, it is not a jealousy thing. There is just so much that can and cannot be said about Love. However, Valentines Day is quickly approaching and I am thinking of all the ways to commit suicide (only joking--slightly) and bracing myself for this ridiculous day.
I hate Valentines Day! Seriously, it is stupid. Do people even know what this holiday is for or why it is celebrated? I'm gonna guess not.
You know what I did last Valentines Day?
Sat on my couch watching television eating Dunkin Donuts and Lays potato chips. I figured eating Lays was the only way I was gonna get laid on Valentines Day--so classy I know.
But, for some reason, even though I hate it, this Valentines Day has me laughing. A lot. You wanna know why? I keep seeing all kinds of commercials and advertisements that say "Get her what she really wants," or "Find out what she is really thinking." Of course these words are then followed by the display of some kind of god awful jewelery that is of course heart shaped. Who wears heart shaped jewelry any way? And who wears it any day besides Valentines Day? Um, pretty much nobody!
These advertisements crack me up. "Find out what she is really thinking?" Seriously, this girl is definitely not thinking about that ugly jewelery or those over priced flowers that are gonna die in two days. I'm thinking remember me on the days of the year that are not associated with holidays and then buy me pretty underwear that you are gonna take off with you teeth later. That's what I'm thinking!
"Get her what she really wants?" You wanna know what I want for Valentines Day? The purple and white Shox at Foot Locker. Size 7 1/2.
I really think these commercials are just further proof that we lack the will to think critically about what someone might want, and what it takes to show someone that they matter. That you LOVE them.
So, as I see these terribly tacky, yet extremely funny commercials I think of what LOVE is and who I LOVE and who LOVES me back.
Oh, that reminds me, I need to go to the store--gotta stock up on some potato chips ;)
I hate Valentines Day! Seriously, it is stupid. Do people even know what this holiday is for or why it is celebrated? I'm gonna guess not.
You know what I did last Valentines Day?
Sat on my couch watching television eating Dunkin Donuts and Lays potato chips. I figured eating Lays was the only way I was gonna get laid on Valentines Day--so classy I know.
But, for some reason, even though I hate it, this Valentines Day has me laughing. A lot. You wanna know why? I keep seeing all kinds of commercials and advertisements that say "Get her what she really wants," or "Find out what she is really thinking." Of course these words are then followed by the display of some kind of god awful jewelery that is of course heart shaped. Who wears heart shaped jewelry any way? And who wears it any day besides Valentines Day? Um, pretty much nobody!
These advertisements crack me up. "Find out what she is really thinking?" Seriously, this girl is definitely not thinking about that ugly jewelery or those over priced flowers that are gonna die in two days. I'm thinking remember me on the days of the year that are not associated with holidays and then buy me pretty underwear that you are gonna take off with you teeth later. That's what I'm thinking!
"Get her what she really wants?" You wanna know what I want for Valentines Day? The purple and white Shox at Foot Locker. Size 7 1/2.
I really think these commercials are just further proof that we lack the will to think critically about what someone might want, and what it takes to show someone that they matter. That you LOVE them.
So, as I see these terribly tacky, yet extremely funny commercials I think of what LOVE is and who I LOVE and who LOVES me back.
Oh, that reminds me, I need to go to the store--gotta stock up on some potato chips ;)
Friday, February 5, 2010
Ahhhh Life Goes On
Do not be confused by this title; it in no way references the television show from the early 90s with the catchy theme song. Instead, I am reminded of the wise words of Robert Frost: "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life. It goes on."
Welp, yep, that just about sums it up.
But, I am verbose and will carry on anyway.
We all have opinions and because of our Constitution are allowed to say whatever we want--at least for the most part. However, I have noticed how annoyed I get when people complain about things that don't even matter. For example, today the facebook format changed, and you would have thought that the walls of Jericho were coming down! People have updated their statuses, made facebook groups, and so on all for the sake of complaining about format change. Don't get me wrong, I don't like change, but seriously! Is the facebook format such a big deal that we have to go into overdrive to combat it? I can think of thousands of other things to do with my energy. In fact, imagine if we put as much energy into other things as we do about complaining about facebook changes. Oh, what a different place the world would be . . .
This leads me to ask the question: how do we deal with change? For me it depends on what the change is. Sometimes I ignore the change, sometimes I get mad, sometimes I cry, and sometimes I do a little of all three. I think the real problem with change is that we feel like we have lost our control. Sometimes I think I have never had control. I won't lie, my life has been out of control for . . . well let's say almost two years. I have tried every coping mechanism (we'll talk God later) and I have found that not one of them works. The only thing that seems to give me the slightest ounce of sanity is that no matter what I think or how I feel tomorrow the sun will rise and set just like it has done for thousands of years.
So, what does this mean? Not only is "Life goes on" a terrible cliche, a Frost quote, and a 90s tv show, it is also scary and the enduring truth.
*Sigh*
Welp, yep, that just about sums it up.
But, I am verbose and will carry on anyway.
We all have opinions and because of our Constitution are allowed to say whatever we want--at least for the most part. However, I have noticed how annoyed I get when people complain about things that don't even matter. For example, today the facebook format changed, and you would have thought that the walls of Jericho were coming down! People have updated their statuses, made facebook groups, and so on all for the sake of complaining about format change. Don't get me wrong, I don't like change, but seriously! Is the facebook format such a big deal that we have to go into overdrive to combat it? I can think of thousands of other things to do with my energy. In fact, imagine if we put as much energy into other things as we do about complaining about facebook changes. Oh, what a different place the world would be . . .
This leads me to ask the question: how do we deal with change? For me it depends on what the change is. Sometimes I ignore the change, sometimes I get mad, sometimes I cry, and sometimes I do a little of all three. I think the real problem with change is that we feel like we have lost our control. Sometimes I think I have never had control. I won't lie, my life has been out of control for . . . well let's say almost two years. I have tried every coping mechanism (we'll talk God later) and I have found that not one of them works. The only thing that seems to give me the slightest ounce of sanity is that no matter what I think or how I feel tomorrow the sun will rise and set just like it has done for thousands of years.
So, what does this mean? Not only is "Life goes on" a terrible cliche, a Frost quote, and a 90s tv show, it is also scary and the enduring truth.
*Sigh*
Monday, February 1, 2010
I Sit In Silence Pondering
Rain falls tap tap tap
Smash poetry and coffee
Life stars hope courage
Once only once
Beat
Thump thump thump
Love future
Time
Silence
Smash poetry and coffee
Life stars hope courage
Once only once
Beat
Thump thump thump
Love future
Time
Silence
Life
Let's just dive right in with the end-all-to-be-all L words--Life. It amazes me how many connotations this simple four letter word can have. It can be used to describe how many social situations we find ourselves in, as in "I have a life." It can also be used as an answer to why things are not going well because "That's just life." It can also be used to desribe the act of being pregnant--"giving life."
You get the gist.
I have been thinking a lot about life lately. I think most of us do on a daily basis. I have been wondering what I am supposed to do with what is left of my time on earth--my life--if you will. This is something that is proving to be difficult. How should I know what I am supposed to do with the rest of my life? I don't even know what I am supposed to do with my life tomorrow, let alone twenty years from now. I am well aware of the chiche` phrases that surround our inability to answer questions about the future. I hate those chiche` phrases; they really serve no purpose other than to piss me off. Someone telling that you will eventually figure it out serves no purpose other then getting them off the hook of having to listen to you complain. Perhaps the reason that I hate these phrases is that I have told them to myself hundreds of times to make myself feel better, and yet I don't feel any better. Yes, I am well aware that I am the consequence of my own circumstances and my own choices, but yet all this time I thought I was making the right choices for my life.
Ahhhh I digress.
Life is what you make it--awesome. This rates at about a 10 on the scale of fantastic chiche` phrases. So, what you are telling me when you say this is that I have made my life a gigantic pile of shit. Hmmmm perhaps I should have seen that one coming. Perhaps not. Really, who knows.
There is tons I don't know about life--I could fill a book about the number of things I have no clue about when it comes to life. Introduce the OED. However, there are some things I do know about life. I have the choice to live it or not. I have the choice to do something with it, or simply be the product of my own apathy. I have the choice to wallow in self pity or to put on a happy face, quit bitching and at least acknowledge that some people would kill to have my life (irony intended).
So, I surmise that I will buck up, deal with the ginormous piles of shit and live on. However, if you want to send a little positive energy my way that would be great. And, in the mean time life goes on ;)
*Be forewarned that this subject will be revisited VERY soon.
You get the gist.
I have been thinking a lot about life lately. I think most of us do on a daily basis. I have been wondering what I am supposed to do with what is left of my time on earth--my life--if you will. This is something that is proving to be difficult. How should I know what I am supposed to do with the rest of my life? I don't even know what I am supposed to do with my life tomorrow, let alone twenty years from now. I am well aware of the chiche` phrases that surround our inability to answer questions about the future. I hate those chiche` phrases; they really serve no purpose other than to piss me off. Someone telling that you will eventually figure it out serves no purpose other then getting them off the hook of having to listen to you complain. Perhaps the reason that I hate these phrases is that I have told them to myself hundreds of times to make myself feel better, and yet I don't feel any better. Yes, I am well aware that I am the consequence of my own circumstances and my own choices, but yet all this time I thought I was making the right choices for my life.
Ahhhh I digress.
Life is what you make it--awesome. This rates at about a 10 on the scale of fantastic chiche` phrases. So, what you are telling me when you say this is that I have made my life a gigantic pile of shit. Hmmmm perhaps I should have seen that one coming. Perhaps not. Really, who knows.
There is tons I don't know about life--I could fill a book about the number of things I have no clue about when it comes to life. Introduce the OED. However, there are some things I do know about life. I have the choice to live it or not. I have the choice to do something with it, or simply be the product of my own apathy. I have the choice to wallow in self pity or to put on a happy face, quit bitching and at least acknowledge that some people would kill to have my life (irony intended).
So, I surmise that I will buck up, deal with the ginormous piles of shit and live on. However, if you want to send a little positive energy my way that would be great. And, in the mean time life goes on ;)
*Be forewarned that this subject will be revisited VERY soon.
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